I told my boss today that I will be leaving. It was extremely hard and last night I experienced a huge case of cold feet. When talking with my best friend, I stated that I "am scared to death." When asked, "What are you afraid of?" I had no response. Crickets...crickets... I still have no response. When asked so plainly "what are you afraid of," I couldn't think of anything--rational or irrational!
I also had thoughts of backing out of everything--staying where I am, doing what I am doing. Staying in my comfortable life. It's funny to me how your mind can come up with the craziest notions and ideas simply to avoid ONE icky conversation. It was a conversation I had gone over in my mind a million times before actually having any reason to leave. I always pictured it as triumphant and gratifying. It was, in reality, extremely hard.
I am happy with my decision and I know it is the right thing to do. I've prayed about it and thought about it for weeks now, and I know for sure that it is the right thing to do. There have been many indications that this is God's will. And with God, all things are possible. So even in these next few weeks where the nervousness, anxiety, fears and doubts come sneaking up, I know that I can make it through this--that this is the right thing to do.
It's time for my dreams to become reality.