As the Advent season begins, I find myself in desperate need of making changes. As Advent is a preparation for something magical and wonderful, I hope to use this time to prepare myself for something bigger and better. I have no clue what that even is, but I am hopeful that through my prayer I will be led to the place where I am supposed to be.
For the past few months, I've been praying and attempting to discern where I am supposed to go in life, what I am supposed to be, what is my higher purpose. At times I feel like I am in a perpetual Advent--continuously waiting and waiting for some divine insipiration to spell it all out for me. But something dawned on me the other day: what if I am where I'm supposed to be? What if the happiness I feel here is true and perfect happiness? Has God led me to where I am truly meant to be?
But if that's the case, why all the restlessness? Why the feeling that there's something out there bigger than all of this? I feel a special calling to go--to travel--to get away from here. Is that simply running away or is that heeding the call?
I will use this season of joyful anticipation to dwell deeper inside myself in the hopes of coming out a more beautiful individual.