Living Life With Trust
As I create the life of my dreams, I often reach a crossroads where the choices seem to involve the risk of facing the unknown versus the safety and comfort of all that I have come to trust. I feel like a tightrope walker, carefully teetering along the narrow path to my goals, sometimes feeling that I am doing so without a net. Knowing I have some backup may help me work up the courage to take those first steps, until I am secure in knowing that I have the skills to work without one. But when I live my life from a place of balance and trust in the universe, I may not see our source of support, but I can know that it is there.
If I refuse to act only if I can see the safety net, I may be allowing the net to become a trap as it creates a barrier between me and the freedom to pursue my goals. Change is inherent in life, so even what I have learned to trust can surprise me at any moment. Remove fear from the equation and then, without even wondering what is going on below, I can devote my full attention to the dream that awaits me.
We attract support into our lives when we are willing to make those first tentative steps, trusting that the universe will provide exactly what we need. In that process I can decide that whatever comes from my actions is only for my highest and best experience of growth. It may come in the form of a soft landing, an unexpected rescue or an eye-opening experience gleaned only from the process of falling. So rather than allowing my life to be dictated by fear of the unknown, or trying to avoid falling, I can appreciate that sometimes I experience life fully when I am willing to trust and fall. And in doing so, I may just find that I have the wings to fly.
When I believe that there is a reason for everything, I am stepping out with the safety net of the universe, and I know I will make the best from whatever comes my way.
Monday, October 29, 2007
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Back to Asana
Tonight I am going to yoga. I've not been to yoga since two months BEFORE I left for India. I had no real reasons for not going, just missed one class...and then another...and then another.
I am ready to be back on my mat. Sometimes I think I take these hiatuses for reasons that I can neither explain nor understand. For me, I get to a point where I feel completely confident and comfortable in life and feel like things are going extremely well and that I don't need the yoga to compliment my life. So I stop going and continue to live my life from day to day, dealing with the issues the best I can. Then I start to stress out and become overwhelmed while dealing with all those issues and seek refuge and comfort in the things I know and love most: Mass, my friends, prayer, and yoga. I feel that I run away or hide my feelings because of pride or the fear of burdening my friends. So if I continue to avoid situations that force me to feel and force me to think and force me to deal with these things head-on, I won't have to feel or think or deal. But now, I am ready to deal. I am ready to face things from a different angle and maybe see the world a tad differently when I come out.
I have a lot of energy (duh) and I think it will be good for me to be more grounded at this time in my life. I feel like I am all over the place, and through prayer and yoga I hope to become more grounded, more centered.
I am ready to be back on my mat. Sometimes I think I take these hiatuses for reasons that I can neither explain nor understand. For me, I get to a point where I feel completely confident and comfortable in life and feel like things are going extremely well and that I don't need the yoga to compliment my life. So I stop going and continue to live my life from day to day, dealing with the issues the best I can. Then I start to stress out and become overwhelmed while dealing with all those issues and seek refuge and comfort in the things I know and love most: Mass, my friends, prayer, and yoga. I feel that I run away or hide my feelings because of pride or the fear of burdening my friends. So if I continue to avoid situations that force me to feel and force me to think and force me to deal with these things head-on, I won't have to feel or think or deal. But now, I am ready to deal. I am ready to face things from a different angle and maybe see the world a tad differently when I come out.
I have a lot of energy (duh) and I think it will be good for me to be more grounded at this time in my life. I feel like I am all over the place, and through prayer and yoga I hope to become more grounded, more centered.
Governor's Cup
Yesterday morning the alarm came much too early. 6:30 a.m. on a Saturday is just not cool. However, I woke up with butterflies dancing in my stomach in anticipation for the morning's upcoming event. Slowly I rolled myself out of bed, put on my shoes and said a quick prayer before leaving the house. I was going to need all the help I could get!
I met up with my fellow runners at the State House and we stood around waiting for the race to start. We lined up at the start line and I was completely oblivious when the race actually started. I had my back to the start line and was in the middle of a sentence when Z said, "Hey, we're running now!"
Mile 1 came up quick in my mind. Although our time was quite slow, I felt good and strong. I thought they'd forgotten to put out a sign marking Mile 2 because it felt like we would never get there. I ran with Z the entire time* and settled into my usual routine of synching my steps up with his. Mile 2 finally came and we continued on with relative ease. I am quite impressed that we didn't fade at that point, considering the longest we'd run in a long time was 2 miles. At Mile 3, I told Z "hey, we're over half way done!" That was good news to the both of us even though I knew the hardest part of the race was coming up. So, we entered the final mile at the corner of Blossom and Saluda. Up Blossom Street and then a right on Sumter Street was the plan. Initially, Blossom Street isn't too bad as it's somewhat flat. Then right around Pickens Street, the road starts to incline. And continues to incline. Then, you think you're done with the hill but NO! You have to turn on Sumter Street, which is also a nice hill. At this point, my chest was about to explode. We caught up with Dogwood and ran toward the finish line. Dogwood encouraged Z to run ahead and sprint to the finish, which he did. When I crossed the finish line, I had that momentary feeling of "Oh dear, I think I might puke!" Luckily that feeling left rather quickly and I neither collapsed nor puked. Our official times haven't been posted yet, but I believe we finished right around 46 minutes and a few seconds. Not too shabby for our first 8K.
My legs are a tad sore today, but I had so much fun yesterday and really enjoyed the feeling of accomplishment when it was all over. Minnie Mouse wants to run in the Cooper River race in April, but I'm a little unsure of that at this point. But who knows...stranger things have happened.
I met up with my fellow runners at the State House and we stood around waiting for the race to start. We lined up at the start line and I was completely oblivious when the race actually started. I had my back to the start line and was in the middle of a sentence when Z said, "Hey, we're running now!"
Mile 1 came up quick in my mind. Although our time was quite slow, I felt good and strong. I thought they'd forgotten to put out a sign marking Mile 2 because it felt like we would never get there. I ran with Z the entire time* and settled into my usual routine of synching my steps up with his. Mile 2 finally came and we continued on with relative ease. I am quite impressed that we didn't fade at that point, considering the longest we'd run in a long time was 2 miles. At Mile 3, I told Z "hey, we're over half way done!" That was good news to the both of us even though I knew the hardest part of the race was coming up. So, we entered the final mile at the corner of Blossom and Saluda. Up Blossom Street and then a right on Sumter Street was the plan. Initially, Blossom Street isn't too bad as it's somewhat flat. Then right around Pickens Street, the road starts to incline. And continues to incline. Then, you think you're done with the hill but NO! You have to turn on Sumter Street, which is also a nice hill. At this point, my chest was about to explode. We caught up with Dogwood and ran toward the finish line. Dogwood encouraged Z to run ahead and sprint to the finish, which he did. When I crossed the finish line, I had that momentary feeling of "Oh dear, I think I might puke!" Luckily that feeling left rather quickly and I neither collapsed nor puked. Our official times haven't been posted yet, but I believe we finished right around 46 minutes and a few seconds. Not too shabby for our first 8K.
My legs are a tad sore today, but I had so much fun yesterday and really enjoyed the feeling of accomplishment when it was all over. Minnie Mouse wants to run in the Cooper River race in April, but I'm a little unsure of that at this point. But who knows...stranger things have happened.
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Countdown
TWO DAYS! Only two days until the Governor's Cup Road Race. AHH!!! It's safe to say that I am nowhere near ready for the 8K run, but I will give it my best shot. I suppose that's all I ever intended to do in the first place. However, my training has definitely slacked off over the past two weeks for various reasons: some good, some bad. I did manage to get back out and run yesterday and this morning, and will be doing so for the rest of the week. Saturday morning will be an interesting experience, to say the least.
Whose idea was this anyway? Oh right--it was mine. Rats! That means I can't blame anyone else! :-)
Whose idea was this anyway? Oh right--it was mine. Rats! That means I can't blame anyone else! :-)
Monday, October 22, 2007
Homeward Bound
I am sitting in the Blue Grass Airport waiting Delta flight 5026 to Cincinnati and am hopeful all goes well. It's raining like crazy here and storms are in the forecast. Right now everything seems to be on schedule, so I keep praying I get out of here and get home tonight.
It's funny how Columbia has become my true home. It felt incredibly weird to be here this weekend; to be around the old sites and sounds and friends and family. Although last night I stayed in the same room I spent three years in, I felt like a visitor in someone's home. I am glad to have had the time here to see my friends and family, but I am ready to be home. Home where I feel comfortable and settled. I am an overly anxious person anyway and this trip definitely did not help that situation. Deep breaths and lots of prayer were my strategies.
South Carolina: HERE I COME!
It's funny how Columbia has become my true home. It felt incredibly weird to be here this weekend; to be around the old sites and sounds and friends and family. Although last night I stayed in the same room I spent three years in, I felt like a visitor in someone's home. I am glad to have had the time here to see my friends and family, but I am ready to be home. Home where I feel comfortable and settled. I am an overly anxious person anyway and this trip definitely did not help that situation. Deep breaths and lots of prayer were my strategies.
South Carolina: HERE I COME!
Sunday, October 21, 2007
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