All Good Things Must Come To An End...

I told my boss today that I will be leaving. It was extremely hard and last night I experienced a huge case of cold feet. When talking with my best friend, I stated that I "am scared to death." When asked, "What are you afraid of?" I had no response. Crickets...crickets... I still have no response. When asked so plainly "what are you afraid of," I couldn't think of anything--rational or irrational!
I also had thoughts of backing out of everything--staying where I am, doing what I am doing. Staying in my comfortable life. It's funny to me how your mind can come up with the craziest notions and ideas simply to avoid ONE icky conversation. It was a conversation I had gone over in my mind a million times before actually having any reason to leave. I always pictured it as triumphant and gratifying. It was, in reality, extremely hard.
I am happy with my decision and I know it is the right thing to do. I've prayed about it and thought about it for weeks now, and I know for sure that it is the right thing to do. There have been many indications that this is God's will. And with God, all things are possible. So even in these next few weeks where the nervousness, anxiety, fears and doubts come sneaking up, I know that I can make it through this--that this is the right thing to do.
It's time for my dreams to become reality.

Glimpses of the Future

It's been a rather lazy Saturday. Went bathing suit shopping and was very unsuccessful--oh well! Had a delicious lunch of cheese, bread, fruit and wine with Z, and then watched a classic: Rocky 3. :) Anything with Mr. T has to be good, right? HA!
When I went home after Rocky reclaimed the Heavyweight Title, I checked the mail with no hope of receiving anything worthwhile. However, I had some new info from HDS which was incredibly exciting! Diana Eck is a faculty member at HDS and has studied in one of the cities which I will visit whilst in India. I'm dying to read one of her books, Banaras-City of Light, before I go. Anyway, I just found out that I will be taking one of her classes in the fall--World Religions: Diversity and Dialogue. I can't wait!
I am constantly worried about things here, especially my health, but there are moments like these that give me strength and hope for a healthy, exciting future. Now...to go and buy that book!

Major Disappointment

A large group of us went to see Pirates of the Caribbean 3: At World's End last night. I cannot believe I spent $8.00 and 3 hours of my life--neither of which I can get back--on this horrible movie. It was the first time in a long time that I didn't care which side won or what happened to anyone...terrible. It was quite fun sitting next to G making smart comments for the last 1/3 of the film though! It was either that or go to sleep.

Puerto Rico!

Sure, I should be staying in Columbia, working dilligently and saving my money for the upcoming trip to India...but how much fun is that? When G mentioned taking a trip, I was all for it--so we're off to Puerto Rico in 2 weeks! Unfortunately we will have to reschedule our camping trip with the Charleston friends, but I think they'll understand. However--this does mean we'll be in town for the Dell's "Before the 4th Party!"

Still on Cloud 9 from the weekend and now the newest excitement of being on a white sandy beach sipping Bacardi in just 2 weeks. Ahhh---how can life get any better?

Peter Turns 21

A good friend turned 21 on Sunday, so we celebrated this very special occasion on Saturday night. It was one hell of a party! It was probably one of the best parties I've been to in a long time, including most of my own! The crowd was interesting, crazy, fun and extremely entertaining. I haven't laughed like that in a very very long time. It was a fabulous night with new friendships forged and old friendships made stronger. I felt so fortunate to be among such wonderful people and tried like hell to savor every moment. Because as we all know, these precious moments fly by way too quickly. Being there reminded me to live in the moment--throw my worries out the window--and ENJOY LIFE! Sometimes I complain too much, dwell in the "it's not fair" aspect of life, take myself too seriously, and worst of all, let those pixies of anxiety twist my soul into a million different directions.

I was able to let go (without being reckless) and have one of the best (and most sleep-deprived) weekends of my life. And though I was as tired as I have ever been after going to work @ 7 a.m. on Sunday, I chose to meet my friends rather than sleep. I chose to have a few more moments of laughter. There's always the opportunity for sleep. The opportunity for real friendship doesn't always come along when needed or desired.

I am still on Cloud 9 because of this incredibly awesome weekend! Enjoy a few of the pics...

TAP ON!

Saturday was the big day! We had our tap recital and I think it went rather well. I had so much fun--it's quite sad that it's all over. All the practices and build up and then the whole thing is over in 3 minutes! Oh well, it was so much fun and I really want to say "Thank You" to all of those who came out and saw us. I know they were all amused by our outfits! (And for those of you who couldn't make it--no worries, the DVD is already edited and ready to be seen!)

Nunsense A-Men!

Tonight I am going to Trustus Theatre's production of Nunsense A-Men! I have heard really great things about it and hope it lives up to the hype! But what could be better than a story about a nun poisoning (accidentally) her sisters and then the sisters have to hold a fundraiser for burial costs! Plus, it's an all male cast--should be great. I am ready for some laughter.

Onto the Next Book

While at Darlington, I met a nice woman who recommended S. Endo's Deep River. It is a fictional work based on a trip to India that becomes a journey of discovery for a group of Japanese tourists playing out their individual dreams of the soul. Should be a good read.

Just One of Those Days...

...when everything seems to be moving in slow motion. This has been one of the longest mornings of my life. I don't really know why, I've been working, but time seems to be passing unbearably slow.
Normally I don't mind a lot of down time at work, but I have some anxieties extremely active within me today and time is my worst enemy. I wish that I could squash my little "pixies" of anxiety and make them go away forever. Maybe it is that easy for some people, definitely not me. I decided to try and be proactive about squashing the little pixies and went to one of my favorite websites for some quiet time: Sacred Space. The opening thoughts stayed with me and touched me.

In the Spiritual Exercises, St. Ignatius writes: "I will stand for the space of an Our Father, a step or two before the place where I am to meditate or contemplate, and with my mind raised on high, consider that God our Lord beholds me. Then I will make an act of reverence or humility." This is a beautiful and simple way of entering sacred space. I am not alone with my thoughts and feelings. God is here with me. So I can say to him, 'Here I am Lord.' Let me repeat this inwardly several times. Here I am Lord. Here I am, in this place, for this day. Here I am, Lord, as I am, just as I am, not as I feel I ought to be. No, here I am, just as I am, with all my real thoughts, real feelings, real worries and concerns, and also my deeper wishes and desires. I come before you Lord, just as I am.

I think that is one of my biggest flaws: trying to feel how I ought to be feeling--not truly as I am. My masquerade could sometimes be Oscar worthy...but for some reason, I feel that showing how I really feel is a sign of weakness. I know that is crazy and irrational and probably what is actually weak!

With everything that is going on, I am sure it's probably just fine to have moments of anxiety, worry, and fear but I find that I don't give into those feelings too often. Maybe today is one of those days where I can give in, feel what I feel, and be cleansed by the Holy Spirit.

William Dalrymple

The picture above is of author William Dalrymple who wrote City of Djinns. It's a fantastic book about Delhi, its history, culture, eunuchs, and other delights! G recommended it to me and I can't wait to read Dalrymple's other books when I return from the subcontinent.

He is standing among the ruins of the Zafar Mahal, the summer palace of Bahadur Shah Zafar. I will be sure to check it out while I am there!

INDIA: HERE I COME!

Well, it's official. (It was official before, but not it's REALLY official!) I wired the money to India this afternoon! Yes, now I am broke, but it's one of the best broke feelings I've had in a long time! This is more than a trip for me. Although I have a few scary things to accomplish before I can go, I am ready. I am ready to witness a culture so foreign to anything I have ever known. I am ready to be scared and overwhelmed and lost and excited and paranoid and mesmerized and awed and homesick.
Here's a brief outline of my trip:
Wednesday, June 27: Depart Newark on Continental Airlines Flight No. 82 at 8:45 p.m.
Thursday, June 28: Arrive New Delhi, India at 8:15 p.m.
Friday June 29-Sunday July 1: Chill in Delhi, try to acclimated to the time change and the wonder that is India!
Sunday, July 1-Tuesday, July 3: Chill in Mumbai: "Good Morning Mumbai!" I'm going to hang out, search for a Bollywood Dance Mob and look for Sanjay Dutt. :)
Wednesday, July 4: Travel via Kingfisher Airlines to Kochi, Kerala.
Thursday, July 5: See the sights of Kochi.
Friday, July 6: Drive to Kumarakom to the Coconut Lagoon Resort for my 6 day ayurvedic/yoga retreat!
Friday, July 13: Transfer to the Marari Beach Resort for more R&R in Kerala!
Sunday, July 15: Fly via Kingfisher Airlines to Mumbai and then on to Delhi.
Monday, July 16: Tour the city of Delhi.
Tuesday, July 17: Fly on Spice Jet to the Hindu city of pilgrimmage of Varanasi.
Wednesday, July 18: Sunrise cruise on the Ganges and tour Varanasi. In the evening, I board an overnight train to Agra.
Thursday, July 19: Arrive in Agra and tour the majestic Taj Mahal.
Friday, July 20: Drive to Fatehpur Sikri and then on to Jaipur.
Saturday, July 21: Tour Jaipur (includes an elephant ride up to the top of the Amber Fort!!)
Sunday, July 22: Drive back to Delhi
Monday, July 23-July 25: Chill in Delhi, get lots of gifts for all my wonderful friends and get ready to come back to the good ol' U.S.A.
Wednesday, July 25: Leave Delhi at 10:50 p.m. on Continental Flight 83.
Many more details when the trip is actually happening!

Expanding India

I stumbled across this article on line today and found it very interesting.
Ditching Laissez-Faire, India Plans A City

Big Weekend

It's a big weekend coming up. Not only do I have a treatment on Friday (oh joy!) but Friday is the day I pay for my trip to India! I can't believe it's time to pay already. It feels like just yesterday that I was beginning to dream and make arrangements. It's only about 6 weeks until I leave for New Delhi!

Friday night a group of us are going to Tsunami, this great sushi/seafood/steakhouse in the Vista. I'm really looking forward to hanging out with my friends and enjoying a nice dinner. Afterwards, we might just trek right over to the Flying Saucer for fruit flavored ales as dessert.

Then Saturday afternoon it's "Gentlemen, start your engines!" Dogwood and I are headed over to Darlington for the NASCAR Dodge Avenger 500. I am psyched! I've never been to a NASCAR race and I am sure it will be awesome! We're under a tent in the infield at turn 2.

Sunday, it's Mass then over to the Nickelodeon for a viewing of The Namesake. I've wanted to see it for awhile and luckily it came to the Nick. Anyone interested in joining--we'll be there at 3 p.m. on Sunday!

Mosquitos

Mosquitos are quite a problem in India, especially in the rural parts, and one doesn't need to be bitten and then get into the whole malaria thing (or something worse). Yes, I will be packing anti-malarial drugs and tons of bug-be-gones, but there's a new discovery in mosquito repellant. It consists of lemon grass and cow dung. Hmmm..wonder how that smells!
I've also had some time on my hands and have been searching the matrimonial ads from the Hindustan Times. Quite hilarious! I'll have to get with G to learn what some of the abbreviations mean.